How exciting to have such a fellowship of total strangers all coming together for a common cause. Everyone reaching out to help someone else. I am receiving kind words of encouragement. Myself giving thoughtful comments to my newly formed teammates. Sunday webinar was a delight to look forward to. Time set aside for me. Time to listen and learn. Time to make changes to my old blue print/OBP.
You want to know the truth…I am a wreck. I left for a well deserved break from my routine life at home. I took a 3 hour flight to Napa California. Time to myself, and I read the chapters of “The Greatest Salesman in the World/TGSitW”. I so proudly read Scroll I. I anticipated my time and was able to complete my tasks. I am changing my OBP and creating a new one. OHHHHHH….how hard that is to do. I panicked as I felt in adequate to write a DMP. I wrote, but it didn’t come with desire. My OBP was winning. It was winning the fight not to change, not to make a dent in the breaking way. My eyes were cloudy and I was down. I was scared. …but there was enough of the 2 weeks, that my New Blue Print/NBP, was seeping through. Today I begin a new life. Today I shed my old skin which hath, too long, suffered the bruises of failure and the wounds of mediocrity Today I am born anew…..
I spent a whole morning to myself. NO ONE…was around…just me and MKMMA via the computer. I relistened to past webinars and past videos. I had “crap removing” moments…revealing a small bit of my golden Buddha within me. I had moments of OBP where I needed to change the laundry, I had to clean the toilet, I had to pick up my son, I had to make a follow up call. Then I realized that I was many states away from home and I didn’t have to do anything but enjoy myself. I was multitasking, but doing what I really like to do. I was preparing a dinner for 28 adults. I was just making 3 dishes, but the prep work took lots of cutting and dicing and slicing. Without going into too much detail of my total enjoyment, the dinner was a total success. I was able to present a meal with unique flavors that many never experienced before. Every bite was a delightful flavor and each one was different. I am still grinning ear to ear. In the middle of my peaceful time…I received a phone call from my guide. It was perfect timing as I had been in the mindset to talk with her. I explained my insecurity and she uplifted me with support and encouragement. I was able to carry on.
Only to be shot down by my OBP. But this time I was able to recognize the OBP. OBP does not want to change and will fight, kicking and biting and back stabbing. OBP doesn’t like the book TGSitW. Why did Mandino use real Biblical characters? Saul/Paul had the Holy Spirit guide him, not scrolls. Where did the scrolls come from? But it is fiction, so then… the book is fiction and it’s content is fiction. So confusing, but… I choose to learn the virtues that this book is so famous for and the self improvement that transpire because of reading it. I am so looking forward to the next Scroll and the changes to come.
Another blow from OBP, when I get back to my home. It was a struggle to fully engaged on Monday’s webinar as No One was letting me be alone. They kept interrupting me. Then everything BAD, negative, that could throw me back into my OBP occurred. How can I do this? What strength, what desire, what passion??? HELP….
And then …after I read my Scroll for my mid meal quiet time, I start going through my mail. There was an envelope addressed to me. I didn’t recognize the sender. I opened it. An beautiful note. A well written note. A gift, of a journal pad. It made me smile. There in my hand, in my possession was a physical reminder of my NBP. Thank you. Thank you. I have so much to remove and break and chip and claw away…to reveal my Buddha, BUT I know I will succeed. I may be slow, but slow and steady moving forward. Where there is a breakdown there follows a breakthrough!!!!