This week we started the new Scroll IV by OG. Today I will be master of my emotions.
March 1, is a memorable day every year because it is my birthday. March 1st was my DMP goal date. Did I accomplish it? I would say YES. One of my goals was to clean out my home of clutter. I had 20 years of “I will get to it when the kids are in school”… those piles of things that got too overwhelming that it was more painful to go through them. So I had to take a box one box at a time. I dedicated 2 days a week starting in September. It just happened to parallel MKMMA course.
A spin off of our Alliance area of “Tools for Expanding”. This course is about letting go than collecting things. Emotions of “Fear, Guilt, Anger, Unworthiness, and Hurt Feelings to expand my comfort zone”…has really really shook me into taking the plunge of the Hero’s Journey. Week 17, I shared with you the Hero’s Journey with enthusiasm…then FEAR settled in, I went into my turtle shell. I am not proud of my blog of Week 18, Week 19..they were forced and quite difficult. It is Week 22. I am so excited to share an epiphany of my journey. I am ready to move from the world of known to the unknown. …please forgive me for not easily letting go during week 18-21… I was able to identify and release my fear and anger of sarcasm and teasing… I realized I have no humor in my life…I don’t easily laugh and majority of humor have to explained to me. Explained atleast 3 times (which frustrates my husband). So my defense mood is to put up a wall or “fake it” but it hurts my feelings of not understanding and knowing people laughing me.
This week I learned to turn those emotions into tools… so I recognized the anger, and I used it as a tool to address my husband who upsets me most. So this week Monday, I told him that he hurt my feelings when he says things to me in sarcasm/teasing. He told me he does not say anything malicious to hurt me. Then, I blurted out about 7 times that he did and he was shocked and gave a disgusted look. We argued that I do not hear what he says. After giving examples and he looked at me with a more tender heart, realizing the struggle I have. Now it is Thursday night, we have been talking everyday with more clarity.
We had a MKMMA Tribe call on Wednesday, where I steps out and shared my fear of sarcasm directed to me/ teasing…and my lack of humor, and requested help in laughing. I shared this video with my son, then with my husband. I didn’t laugh the first time, I had to have my son explain it to me. He laughed. I questioned what I don’t get it. Then my husband watched it and laughed, then laughed knowing I didn’t get it and he had to explain to me. However, it perfectly makes sense to me that my husband has blocks in his head, and I have wires. Those neuropeptides. What I liked best was, that evening…he used the blocks and wires to explain to me how I think and it was funny and made sense and I had some humor.
Did you Laugh? I hope you did. I am adding more humor to what I hear.
Also I realize that I fear I am missing something from the webinars, thank goodness for the replay. Admitting is it has released the stress of not learning what I need to learn, so I just use my fear as my tool…and get involved. Again, thank you for reading my post. It’s amateur, but for me it is growth.