Monthly Archives: December 2014

Week 13 – December 25

5 minutes past December 25, it is over.

I want to let you know How Much I REALLY appreciate you taking the time to read what I write.

This is the most difficult task for me to share about me, to write about me.

Who am I? I am Julia Standish. And I want to shout out to the world that you don’t have to live by the clock, the dictation of the commercial world.  I want people to see me and have a desire to have what I have.  Deep down inside me, there is a compass, a compass that help me point to the direction I need to go. I want people to ask me “What makes you tick? Where do you get all your energy? What’s motivating you? Why are you …..so happy?”

I want to hear them say, “I want what you have”

Week 13 … This little light of Mine, I’m gonna let it shine.

This little light of Mine, I’m gonna let it shine…Let It Shine, Let It Shine, Let It Shine.(Harry Dixon Loes)

We are the light of the World, May your light shine before all.  That they may see the good that we do and give glory to God. (Jean Anthony Grelf)

Two songs ringing in my head. Why not Christmas Carols or Traditional Religious Songs of this particular week?   It’s my life. I live by this. And I am becoming a better me through my experience with MKMMA.

I am grateful for the past 13 weeks of reading, learning, reflecting, sharing, silence, sits, listening, seeing, smelling, touching, tasting. It is overwhelmingly awesome. I am aware of my old blue print, and it is when I am doing MKMMA I am exposing my new blue print.

How can I describe my past few days dealing with family and friends. One task was to share MKMMA. That was accomplished not with words but with action. I controlled myself of opinions, and I controlled myself of turning negative situations with substition and making it positive. It was quite helpful that my husband did not provoke me. He has been quite supportive and we have not had conflict of anything for a long time. Is it me? Is it him? I know the atmosphere of our home has been positive and uplifting. Is it the small changes of MKMMA over the past 13 weeks. I am not an A student in this program. My memory does not recite all the sentences and phrases we are learning. I have to read, read, read. I am still wiring the brain for the memory…I have to have my cards…but it works. It works for me.

Jogging my memory of all the things I have done has been a great “organizing” task for me. As I realize I have forgotten alot of things that I have done.(or have I put them aside to avoid the pain) I have learned living in the present just to survive should not be the only focus in life. With my cards, I have been able to participate in table conversations. This I am grateful.

I am sad, I am not willing to be public, but it will come, I just can’t write on the whim. I wish I could. But… I am going to shine. I help others. I serve others. I love others. I interact with others.

Week 12 …. Do It Now

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This is the result of my 50 minutes. We were given the task to look at ourselves for 50 minutes.  I am growing at my own pace. I am changing. I love the change. I love that I am not alone, and my struggles are part of growing. Accepting the change is another story.  I have to live by the compass…that has been difficult, so for me DO IT NOW is necessary.

My sentence “I am a radiant self-reliant liberated  woman of indestructible faith, highly honored and respected, helpful to others and in-service to the world.” Saying it for 50minutes, with enthusiasm.

I repeated the 50 minutes on Monday, while cooking dinner. At this point I added smell and taste. I had my favorite, Adobo Pork, made my way. The kitchen filled with the smell of vinegar, simmered to perfect flavor with garlic and bay leave. Dinner was served within the 50 minutes so as I ate is scored every bite. Silence was part of the dinner, so my mind went crazy as I recited my sentence in my head…attaching this experience to memory.

Tuesday came with very little thought, but woke up to my childhood song of “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.” Guess my new blue prints been busy all night. The melody was able to recite my sentence. BAM….got my audio.

Wednesday… Touch, how do I touch… Like I do naturally, I touch people. This time I went to visit my mother in law who is now in nursing home. I gave her a leg massage as I visited with her.  There is not much conversation as she has dementia and her thoughts are scattered. But I shared with her my sentence and recited it to her 20 times. She asked me how is it possible I said it for 50 minutes. Cute. She got it. When she is sharp, she is sharp. Yes, her subby comes out every once and awhile.

 

 

 

 

Week 11… 15 minute sit

MKMMA teaches us in progression. I found learning the skills in progression and not skipping steps is what builds confidence and success.  I cannot expect to take short cuts and work around my weaknesses, I know I have to work through my weaknesses and develop the skills necessary to be the BEST JULIA, I can be!!!

I had the experience of sitting in a dental chair for my cleaning and filling a cavity. The need to just sit was an opportunity for me to take advantage. I loved the exercise of drawing the black line. But the experience of seeing shapes and colors and hearing my sound tracks in my head…was AWESOME.

okay…. I am still lost for my own words to write. I want to just copy all our readings and write my favorites…but you have already read them. I have shared with some of you my fear of plagiarism. I have also learned from reading many other posts, as long as I give reference and not claim as my own, then I should quote, with quotations. My other fear is that I feel I have to write from memory. My memory is not good, and I have to have cheat sheets, long before having 4×5 cards that we have been using.  I understand the wiring of the “peptides” in the brain, and appreciate it even more now because of MKMMA.

Glanced at my word count is 240. My goal is write without hesitation. But with a flow of thought and not bouncing all over the place. I want to have a post over 250 words. I don’t have a style of writing. A fresh block of clay forming, work in progress.